And the winner for ‘Most Irritating Patient’ on my night shift goes to…..
1) Doc: Sir, you cannot drink or smoke marijuana/cocaine while on these medication
Mr. Pothead: Why not, I smoke everyday….it is a BUSH…nothing will happen.
Doc: One week without your drugs wont hurt you, in fact, it may do you some good and help you along the road to recovery from your addiction.
Mr. Pothead: I plan to prove you wrong doc, and when I do, I will make sure that all my friends know that you can still smoke your drugs while on medications.
2) Doc: Ma’am, in order for the X’ray to be done, the radiographer will require you to lie flat….so we can get a precise reading.
Ms. Snooty: I don’t ever lie flat EVER!!!!……I want my head up. Now go get me some pillows.
This went on for about 15 mins until the patient’s daughter threatened to leave her at the hospital…..She suddenly complied….
3) 45 yo cigarette smoker who has COPD……came to the ER due to shortness of breath that suspiciously occurred during his weekly poker game…..while smoking…..Please note, we in the ER know this patient on a first name basis….and he also knows our names….