Month: March 2012

Medicine is 60% bookwork, 30% common sense and 10% intuition….

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25yo Male patient comes in with pain to his left leg after a car accident. Anyone standing near to him can tell that the deformity noted is a femur fracture…..his thigh bone is broken…..

Great…supposedly an easy textbook case for patient management. However, this is not my patient.

When I am passing later, I pass close to the patient and notice that the deformity is much worse and the patient’s leg has started to swell more.

Apparently whoever splinted the leg put the splint only up to the knee. Of course the patient moving around has caused further injury to the damaged thigh.

The bone damaged is the femur….the bone in the upper part of the leg…splinting up to the knee does not do a damn thing…..

I am your doctor not your ‘Personal friend’…….

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I am your doctor.

I am not your personal friend who will go out for drinks with you when I am not working.

I cannot predict if your ‘man-friend’ will leave you or not.

I don’t know if those shoes are making your recently done pedicure look cute……I cant recall the last time i was able to do a pedicure.

I don’t know if you should stop sleeping with your friend’s boyfriend.

I am here to figure out what is causing your disease process.

 

This is gonna be a long night……..

Hero of the day……..

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Drunk female patient who came into the ER also with diarrhea. She fell off of the toilet bowl in the ER, was too drunk to get back up….continued to have the diarrhea while on the floor…all over the floor for that matter…..SMH

56yo female who I asked if she had medical problems tells me no. Of course when I ask if she takes any medications daily, she whips out her bag of high blood pressure medications…..SMH.

22YO male patient who smokes marijuana daily. I ask how many he smokes a day, actually whips out his pack of SEVERAL joints to count the number……SMH.

The true hero of the day…….drum roll please…..

33yo male who about 3 nights ago was having a ‘good time’ with his girl. She was giving him oral pleasure…which turned out to be ‘too much of a good thing’. Now he cannot sit, his testicles are swollen and inflammed…..In his defense….he ‘did not feel any pain at the time the incident was ocurring’…..SMH…..it apparently went on for quite some time…..

Little Girl…

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Sleepy Doc: Nurse, does this 89yo patient have any family present in the ER?? If they do, I would like to speak with them immediately.

Nurse: Yes doc, his wife is here.

Nurse brings a 20-something looking woman to me. Ummm….are you his wife?

Little Girl: Yes, I am his wife.

Sleepy doc: ………

I am watching the humored look on the nurse’s face.

I am really glad you are availabel Sir!!!

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Patient: Hi doc, I seem to have a swelling to my scrotal area.

Sleepy Doc: Well how long has this been going on?

Patient: For a lil while doc. Here is a document from my primary care physician concerning the matter.

Sleepy Doc: Sir this referral was dated four months ago!!!!!

Patient: Well doc, I was busy then. However  I have some time now and also, the mass has gotten significantly larger.

Sleepy Doc: Great……

WOW!!!

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I can’t recall the last time I posted….maybe last week.

I am EXHAUSTED…..seriously. I come home from work and I CRASH. I need to get back to my gym routine STAT!!!

However…..I still have some hilarious patients for you guys this week…..it has been a long week…..last week was worse I think. When I am trying to get many different things done, my body starts to rebel when I least expect it. 😦

 

Why me?????

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It is 4:30am and I have yet to fall asleep. I have given up and just gotten off my bed and doing laundry.

I have to leave in about 30mins to go line up by my mechanic because my car is being rebellious AGAIN!!!!

And then going to sit and wait while he fixes my car…..hopefully.

Afterwards I will have to go straight to work….

I really have no idea how I am going to make it today. The most I can hope for is that I am first in line to the mechanic and I get out of there early…and run home and take a lil nap before work……:(:(:(