Month: December 2012

Could you repeat that…….

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Sleepydoc: Sir do you have any allergies?

Patient: I actually do. I am allergic to money. I never seem to have any.

This won’t take long…..

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This morning around 4am an elderly gentleman came in the ER to be seen. He complained of chest pain, cold sweating, vomiting and lightheadedness.

We worked him up for a myocardial infarction, (heart attack).

While attending to the patient, I noticed his wife was not only hovering around but talking on the phone incessantly. She seemed extremely agitated. I assumed that it was due to the unexpected illness of her husband.

Obviously I decided to pacify her concerns. I discovered that all she wanted to know was how long everything would take because she had a wedding to go to. She had helped plan it and didn’t want to be stuck at the hospital while the ceremony took place without her. The only reason she actually stayed was because her husband had a hearing problem.

I explained to her that these things, in reality, took time and her husband would obviously be admitted to the hospital. She immediately started to smile and said she would be back later to check on him.

Alrighty then.

People who work harder than me……..

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Patient: SleepyDoc I have a pain to my right hand.

Sleepydoc: Ok well what sort of trauma may have occurred to your hand recently.

Patient: Well my dogwalker was sick and I had to actually take my dog out. And my hand started hurting afterwards becaue I also had to keep picking up dog poop.

Sleepydoc: Sir I can see how difficult an experience it could be for you to have to do all of this. Here are some pain meds (and a swift kick in the behind)……..

A few rules to live by……..

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So, I am about to embark on my vacay. It has to be stress-free and extremely restful…….

I will start with my first and most essential rule. No one and I mean NO ONE from work is allowed to contact me AT ALL. I don’t care what they need. Today is the last day for all of it. There are other doctors at work who can help with whatever is necessary.

Next rule…….vacay means not staying in a familiar place. In other words, even if I have to rent a room from a hotel one block away from me, that is exactly what I will do. There should not be anything familiar when I go on vacay. Thus I should feel ‘excited’ and ‘curious’ everytime I wakeup.

Speaking of…..travel. I only have carryon luggage. So when the vacay is over, I don’t have to spend any time annoyed about missing luggage. I don’t have to run about an airport looking to tote luggage around. I pack a simple carry on and move quickly everywhere.

Also……..sleep. This vacay is all about me, and getting as much rest as possible. So, if I go to the Caribbean, sure I will do the tours, but those tours need to end at a early enough hour so I can still get some rest. If I go out to party, I am coming back around 2am.

Discussion……….anything about medicine. That should not happen. I don’t want to hear about your ‘flu’. Or your ‘aches and pain’. Let us talk about the weather, or the latest in sports. Or better yet, let us not even talk. Can I just sit and read in a corner for once.
Is it possible for me to have a day where I don’t even have to talk……..

Last, but definitely not least, exercise. Just because I am on vacay does NOT mean that I don’t exercise. The only difference is……no gym. I associate the gym with work. I go to the gym in the morning regardless of whether I have work or not. Therefore, when I have to go on vacay, I get in a lot of outdoor activities. I will go hiking, swimming on the beach, surfing, a simple walk in a park, even mountain climbing. I also take a lot of road trips.

I take vacation very seriously. Medicine is a very stressful road to follow. If I don’t get even an ounce of space that is all mine I would not be able to stay in medicine. Little breaks from it every once in a while helps you not only become a better doctor, but also a better person.

You never know how crazy a patient is until………

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I sat to talk with a young 20 something year old female about her medical complaint. Suddenly she started asking me where my lab coat was. What sort of doctor did not wear a lab coat…….ummm, what?

I could not even waste time answering her. I had just finished dealing with a patient who had continuous seizures that same day.

I was tired. It had been one trauma after the other. I thought that since it was the end of the shift, one simple patient would be really nice………or so I thought.

After she berated me for not wearing a labcoat, like most other regular doctors, she walked off screaming that she wanted to be seen IMMEDIATELY!!

I just shook my head and went and got a cup of coffee. Time for a little break.