Latest Event Updates

Started a new job today…..:)

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Oooohh…..I totally quit my old job at small hospital ER. Started working at a much larger ER today……yeah!!!

I was nervous. I did not sleep last night. Did not know what I would expect. Would there be some kind of orientation, or would I just be thrown to the wolves.

As soon as I arrived, there were all sorts of paperwork to fill out. Then I got my ID and then the long walk to the ER department….cold sweat was dripping off my forehead….hahahahaha, I am just kidding. I was EXCITED.

I got a tour of the department and was then put somewhere to start seeing patients. Which went with surprising ease.

Of course I got lost, didn’t know who the next patient to see was, did not know where to get anything….but you better believe I caught on quickly. An ER is a place where things happen really quickly, so it is good to know where everything is at a moment’s notice.

Can’t wait for my next day in the ER tomorrow. BRING it ON!!!!

Resist the urge

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If you are 45 years old, and you find yourself pregnant for the new flavor of the week, it maybe time to have a talk with thyself.

You have 6 prior kids for 5 other men. You have also had 2 prior miscarriages for the current boyfriend.

You say to me, ‘ Doc I don’t know why this keeps happening to me’

I say to you (want to say)…’ How about you thank god for all those prior children, and then you and this guy start traveling the world together’.

I mean, this guy who is 13-15 years your junior is gonna run as soon as you turn 50.

I do believe I counseled you on your two prior miscarriages and let you know the disadvantages of attempting pregnancy at such a late age.

RESIST the urge!!!!

Exercise!!!!

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I don’t care HOW you do it. WHEN you do it. Exercise as often as you can.

There I was on the treadmill two days ago, sweating away like there was no tomorrow. I noticed this elderly gentleman with a head of gray hair walking towards a treadmill. He was slim and looked HEALTHY. Can you imagine he hopped onto a treadmill and began running on it, sweating like there was no tomorrow.

EXERCISE people so when you are his age, you can still lift yourself off of a chair without using a cane.

Flip that scene to one a few nights ago. I had a 37 year old male who was morbidly obese. He was so obese that he could not even fit properly into the wheelchair for overweight people. He came in for back pain and ankle pain. DUH!!!!! Your weight is your problem. Your pain and your weight are connected.

In fact, this is the SAME guy who I saw for back pain months ago who I remember telling…..’Sir, I will be referring you to a dietician, and your family physician will do a thorough checkup to optimize you to start exercising.’

EXERCISE…..this patient will not be able to bend over to pick up something off the floor in a few years. He is ONLY 37yo.

I don’t care how you do it, get it done.

I figured I should just get some popcorn…..

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So a few nights ago, I was treating a patient with chest pain. It turned out that he actually had a heart attack.

I wanted to talk with the patient with his relative present. He gave me the name of his girlfriend, so I could find her in the waiting room.

I go out to the waiting and call the name over and over and noone responds. When I come back to the patient and tell him, he responds that he gave me the wrong name. That is the name of his ‘mistress’. Then he gives me his girlfriend’s name, correctly this time. He apologizes for his error.

When I go out and call the name, this young lady angrily walks past me and goes straight to my patient’s bed. Apparently she has known for awhile that her man has been cheating on her. And now he has been caught red handed and she knew the other female whose name I previously called.
I am thinking….security….but everyone is cracking up over the young lady’s display of anger.

Either way….she got escorted out of the emergency room ,and, her guy got escorted to a ward upstairs……

Don’t argue with patients….

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Patient: Doc, those are the most hideous shoes ever!!!!!

Sleepydoc: The most important thing about them is that they are really comfortable.

Patient: Well doc they are hideous. You need to make some time when you can go and shop.

Keep in mind, these conversations seem to only take place at 1-4am when I am exhausted. So I won’t be strutting around the hospital in heels at that hour…….no way.

The color for this week is……

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As much as I LOVE being an ER doc, you have got to spice things up on your shift.

I carry my blackberry with me and I normally try to go to the gym at least once a week either before or after my shift.

Therefore I decided to use pink this week to cheer me up after a really long and tiring set of back to back night shifts last week.

Hopefully this week will turn out different…:):).

ahhhh yes….

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First patient of the day……

Sleepydoc: Sir do you drink?

Patient: Well doc, that is my middle name.

Sleepydoc: Ahh yes…..

Second patient of the day……

Patient: Doc, my cathether is not working at all.

Sleepydoc: Well have you been emptying the bag?

Patient: Well the last time I emptied it was two weeks ago.

Sleepydoc: ahhh yes…..we will show you how to use your catheter again.

Violence is never the answer!!!

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I actually had a female patient today who had been seen and treated for a sprained ankle.
She got angry because after waiting a whole 20 minutes, she decided that she had to leave in order for her boyfriend to reach to work on time.
The patient proceeded to leave the ER screaming obscenities at myself and other nursing staff when I told her that I was currently busy attending to a critical patient. Please note that she somehow had forced her way into a trauma bay where we had this poor bloodied guy on the table treating him.
Thirty minutes later, she was again trying to regain entry into the ER by first attempting to break the glass of the triage window with her fists, then she got a beer bottle from her car and repeated the process.
Needless to say it didn’t work and the police were called to the scene.

Is anybody home?

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Patient clueless: Doc, I think that something is moving in my stomach

Sleepydoc: Well, when was your last menstrual cycle?

Patient clueless: I can’t recall.

Sleepydoc: Can you even recall the month?

Patient clueless: Nope.

Sleepydoc: Then we will need to do a pregnancy test. But from what I am observing here, you look about 5-6 months pregnant. We will need an ultrasound to be absolutely sure.

Patient clueless: ok doc.